Hillary Week, Harry Reid’s jobs program and more

“Hillary Week” recently concluded.  It just seemed like it lasted a month.  As you know, Hillary Clinton’s book, Hard Choices, was just released to exceptionally lukewarm reviews.  At her New York book signing the crowds were decent, but we hear they were nowhere near as big as when the Jonas Brothers were there.  (To be fair, crowds at my book signings aren’t even as big as the crowd for a Jonas sister, if only there actually was one – a sister, we mean.)  However, during some of her interviews and a few book signing stops, we did learn a few things.  For instance, apparently Abraham Lincoln was a senator.  So, it seems, was Hillary Clinton.  Who knew?

We also learned that when Bill and Hillary Clinton left the White House they were “dead broke.”  We think we have a slightly different definition of “dead broke” than Hillary Clinton has. She used that statement, in part, to justify the six-figure speaking fees that she and Bill regularly charge.  This might explain why some New York residents have reported seeing Hillary from time to time standing on street corners holding a sign stating “Will Speak for Food.”

And about those fees, let us recall that Hillary Clinton has over the years railed against oil companies and their “windfall profits.” A six-figure fee for a 45-minute speech seems like a bit of a windfall profit to us.  We think we have a slightly different definition of “windfall profits” than Hillary Clinton has.

Before moving on, by the end of the week the book 10-Day Green Smoothie Cleanse had surpassed Hillary’s book on the Amazon best seller list.  We can only surmise that after reading Hard Choices, readers felt the need for a good cleanse.

In other news…

Susan Rice really ought to find another way of spending her Sunday mornings.  We all recall her “it was the video” explanation of the Benghazi attacks on every one of the Sunday morning news programs.  Then she again appears on the Sunday shows to explain that Sargent Bowe Bergdahl served with “honor and distinction.”  Much like her Benghazi explanation, it too was a knee-slapper.  The great thing about Susan Rice is that she seems to carry her own laugh track with her.

While in Poland on his way to ceremonies marking the 70th anniversary of D-Day, President Obama was surreptitiously filmed working out at the hotel gym.  The thought of Obama being covertly spied upon does drip with irony.  Nonetheless, after viewing the leader of the free world grimacing with five pound weights, we’re fairly certain the Taliban leaders said, “We should have demanded more prisoners.”

Big news on the jobs front!  Senator Harry Reid (D-Caesars Palace) announced he is selling his home in Searchlight, Nevada and moving to Las Vegas.  The buyer of his $1.7 million home is Nevada Milling and Mining.  According to Reid, 60 jobs will be created by  the expansion of the mine.  Can we get a harrumph! Who knew job creation was this easy?  We can just picture President Obama looking at the August jobs numbers and telling Reid, “Harry, the jobs report isn’t good.  You’re going to have to move again.”

We saw a recent video of Reid reminiscing about his years growing up in Searchlight.  He remembered the small two-lane road where he used to sit and count cars “by number.” That begs the question, is there another way to count than by number?  Perhaps we need to look into Common Core math a little more closely.

We hear Las Vegas casino and restaurant workers aren’t terribly excited about Reid moving to town.  He’s a politician and a Democratic one to boot, which means he’s a lousy tipper.  We think this scenario will occur in the near future:

Casino waitress: Here’s your check Mr. Reid.  You know, because of Obamacare, my health insurance is way more expensive than it used to be and I can’t get enough hours.  I’m now on food stamps.

Harry Reid: Oh, you’re on food stamps.  Then I guess you won’t need this quarter I was going to give you.”

At a campaign stop, Republican Senator Thad Cochran (R-MS) made an, ahem, interesting comment.  He claimed that as a child he did “all kinds of indecent things with animals.” We can surmise that he has given up on the goat, cow and pig votes for the upcoming Republican Senate run-off election in Mississippi.  We can also surmise that he learned at a young age to do to farm animals what he and others have also been doing to Americans for years.

If you think living in Venezuela – with hits astronomical murder rate and chronic shortages of all things – is bad, dying is no picnic either.  Due to a shortage of coffins (coffins?), the country in a few weeks will not have enough to bury its dead.  We suspect many Venezuelans (those that haven’t already crossed the Mexican border into Texas, that is) have recently lamented, “Just kill me and put me out of my misery.”  They’re learning that doesn’t necessarily help.

Republican House Majority Leader Eric Cantor (R-VA) lost his primary election to a political neophyte, David Brat, an economics professor.   Cantor raised over $5 million to Brat’s $200,000.  In fact, we hear that Cantor’s campaign spent more money at steakhouses than Brat’s campaign spent in total.  Cantor ran a lousy campaign, but he had really great steaks!

For the record, a sitting House Majority Leader had not lost an election since, well, forever.  Prior to his primary election defeat, the odds for getting a quick burial in Venezuela were much better than Cantor losing.  Such is politics…and socialism.

Curtice Mang is the author of the two books, including the new book, The Smell of Politics: The Good, The Bad, and the Odorous. He can be contacted at www.mangwrites.com, where one can also purchase his books; or contact Curtice at mangwrites at cox.net.