A Funny “Survey”

I just responded to phone “survey” about Arizona politics. It went something like this:

Questioner: Are you going to vote in the next election?

Martin: Damn straight, I never miss an election.

Questioner: Have you heard of person A, person B, person C, Kari Lake, person D, Andy Biggs, person E, … person Y, person Z?

Martin: Kari Lake, Andy Biggs.

Questioner: Do you think that Andy Biggs deserves to be re-elected, or do you think it is time for someone else to take his seat?

Martin: Andy Biggs is the best congressman in AZ.

Questioner: Yes, but do you think we should re-elect him?

Martin: Yes, Andy Biggs is the best congressman in AZ.

Questioner: If we had the election tomorrow, would you vote for person A, person B, person C, Andy Biggs, or person D?

Martin: Andy Biggs.

Questioner: How likely are you to vote for him? Maybe, slightly likely, or very likely.

Martin: Very likely, Andy Biggs is the best congressman in AZ.

Questioner: Given the following statements, answer if more likely or less likely to vote for Andy Biggs.

Andy Biggs sided with AOC to not pay border patrol agents to protect our borders.

Martin: This is out of context.

Questioner: I don’t control the questions, please just answer.

Martin: More likely.

Questioner: Andy Biggs sided with Nancy Pelosi and hurt the republicans by voting to remove Kevin MccArthy.

Martin: Good.

Questioner: Answer the question, please.

Martin: More likely.

Questioner: Andy Biggs hates Americans and wants to destroy our country.

Martin: I don’t think this is true.

Questioner: Answer the question please.

Martin: Have you stopped beating your wife yet?

Questioner: Uh, answer the question.

Martin: This is bullshit.

Questioner: noted. Andy Biggs refused to cut the budget and worked with AOC to increase spending at time when we have a large deficit, and he hates children. Are you more or less likely to vote for him?

Martin: Absolutely, I’m all for that.

Questioner: Do you know anything about Andy Biggs? I mean, have you ever heard him speak?

Martin: Yeah, I’ve attended several of his phone town halls and asked him questions on occasion.

Questioner: And you still would vote for him?

Martin: Damn right, I would.

Questioner: <sighs>

Questioner: If Donald Trump were to endorse a candidate, would that make you more or less likely to vote for that candidate?

Martin: Makes no difference.

Questioner: Andy Biggs is known to have carnal relationships with farm animals. Are you more or less likely to vote for him?

Martin: What the hell are you talking about?

Questioner: Well, I feel kind of “sheepish” asking you that, but I don’t control the questions, please answer.

Martin: This is ridiculous.

Questioner: I’ll take that as a no.

Questioner: If Donald Trump were running against Vivek Ramaswamy, Ron Desantis, or Nikki Haley, who would you vote for?

….

Questioner: hello?

Martin: good night.