The Campaign So Far – The Home Stretch

The debates are over – and none to soon.  The four debates occurred over about a three and a half week period.  It only seemed like they had been going on since the Chicago Cubs were still mathematically alive for the playoffs (approximately April 28).

What did we learn from the final presidential debate?  We learned that the United States has aircraft carriers and ships that go underwater.  Fortunately, Barack Obama had recently learned of those things from Defense Secretary Leon Panetta, who used LEGO models to make it simpler for President Obama to understand.

Panetta:  Mr. President.  I’ve got some models that I think will help you visually with the concept of what an aircraft carrier does.

Obama:  Are those LEGOs?

Panetta:  Yes, Mr. President.

Obama:  Really?  You didn’t build that.

Panetta:  Are we really going to go through this again, Mr. President?  No, I did not build it.  My staff built them.  I think somebody’s fourth grader may have helped.

Obama:  Okay, just so we’re clear.

Panetta:  Yes, we’re clear.

Obama:  The real ships, are they built of LEGOs too?  I’ve been to LEGOLAND, they can build some pretty big things out of those blocks.

Panetta:  No, this is just for demonstration purposes.  Can we move along now?

Obama:  Can’t, I’ve got to practice for the debate tonight.  But I think I can use this stuff.  What’s it called again?

Panetta:  An aircraft carrier.

Obama:  Got it.  Gonna zing Romney with that one.

As we now know, Obama “zinged’ Romney about aircraft carriers, nuclear subs, bayonets and horses.  Although, come to find out our Marines do still use bayonets.  As for horses, Obama is right, our military doesn’t use nearly the number of horses as it did in 1916.  But I do lament the rise in unemployment among horses.  Nearly double-digits and that he does have to answer for.

We also learned that Osama bin Laden remains dead.

For his part, Mitt Romney appeared presidential – and also awake – in each debate.  When discussing the debt and balancing the budget, he clearly has the upper hand.  Romney has balanced a few budgets, Obama, um, not so much.  Not only have the budgets he has submitted to Congress been rejected by the Senate, not a single Democrat has voted for them.  To put that in perspective, in these partisan times Republicans and Democrats can’t agree that the Fourth of July falls on the July 4, yet they all agreed that Obama’s budgets were stinkers.

Candidly, I must admit that I did not focus as intently on the third presidential debate as the Chicago Bears were playing the Detroit Lions on Monday Night Football.  In the first quarter, the Bears had scored a touchdown.  Romney, on the other hand, had to settle for a field goal.

Since the first debate, the two campaigns seem to be going in different directions.  The Romney campaign appears to be headed toward the White House, while Obama’s campaign is aiming more for the 6^th tee, with a few fundraising stops with Jay-Z along the way.  In recent weeks, the Obama campaign has tried Big Bird, binders, bayonets and “Romnesia”.  None appears to have worked.  (By the way, I looked up “Romnesia” in my binder and it said that as humor goes, it’s Not Optimal.)

In 2008 the Obama campaign could do no wrong, appearing daily at campaign events overflowing with massive throngs of vocal supporters.  Think of it as the Jordon-era Chicago Bulls.  In 2012, however, it’s more like the Jordon-era Charlotte Bobcats.  As a possible indication of the state of the Obama campaign, Sandra Fluke (still rhymes with, well, you know) appeared at an Obama campaign rally in Reno, Nevada over the weekend.  The rally, just outside the SAK ‘N SAVE, drew almost ten people, two of whom had just walked out of the store after purchasing two packs of Oreos and a box of Slim Jims.  Ms. Fluke and her free contraceptives for law school grads seem to have lost some luster.  For those who want to research it, free contraceptives can be found in the SAK ‘N SAVE section of the Obamacare law.

The Obama campaign recently released a glossy pamphlet that they say outlines his second year agenda.  Well, it does include lots of pictures of Barack Obama and, I think, a Chevrolet ad, but not much else.  Perhaps, the campaign hopes that big pretty pictures of Barack Obama will distract people from asking questions about jobs, the economy or the Benghazi attack.  Regarding Benghzi, we have now learned that the administration was viewing a video of the attack in near real time.  Perhaps, they thought they were just watching an episode of the new reality show, So You Think You Can Riot?

Lastly, at a mid-week campaign stop, Obama predicted great things for the next term.  It sounds like even he now expects Mitt Romney to win.

Curtice Mang is the author of the new book, The Constitution – I’m Not Kidding and Other Tales of Liberal Folly. He can be contacted at www.mangwrites.com, where one can also purchase his book; or contact Curtice at mangwrites at cox.net.